Am I an NPC (Non-Player Character) in My Own Life?

Sometimes it feels like I am an NPC in my own life. Like, I’m not sad or lonely really, I just feel like I don’t matter all that much. 

I do my normal work and it is well-received. I enjoy what I do and I can see how it makes an impact in the world. I talk to people. I take walks. I TikTok. I reach out to people. I read. I watch a LOT of TV and movies. My stuffed animals live wild and varied lives of their own but that’s all in my head. 

Since the quarantine times happened in early 2020, I have legit not left the house to venture into public except for three times: one visit to the eye doc, one visit to the passport office and one visit to pack up all my toys and art from the job I left mid-pandemic. So, my life is pretty centralized and repetitive right now. For the most part, I am 100% fine with this. 

However, right now I feel like all my dialogue options are terrible. Why would anyone want to talk to me in a video game, let alone real life? Like, if I were playing this video game, even *I* would roll my eyes at this *quirky* character in her damn knee socks and graphic tees thinking she looks anything other than the middle-aged lady she is. 

“Oh, no,” I’d think to myself, “The three dots just appeared. Ugh, she wants to talk to me.”

I’d try going the other way, but this NPC is lonely, so, yeah, she’s following me. Sighing, I engage her, using the limited conversation options available to me.

The options are as follows:

  • Tell me about food.
  • Did you take a bath or a shower today?
  • Oh, I see you are still watching every episode of Top Chef ever, please tell me more about this same topic I’ve been hearing about for weeks on end.
  • Wanna fuck?

And I feel so boring. Don’t get me wrong, I could talk about Top Chef for a very long time, but after less than 5 seconds, I feel like I am babbling so I just wrap it up and go back into my repetitive motions until someone activates me again. 

*NPC Art from LFG.co.

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