I mean, you probably know this already, but the Jack White show at Pine Knob was earth-shatteringly incredible. I felt it in all my bones and all my muscles, and I wish I were there right now.
Now, unless you were one of the other 15,000 people there (it felt like more), you probably don’t know what the experience was like, so I will tell you. Plus, with my aphantasia and SDAM, telling others about the things I experienced helps me remember them better. And I like remembering things, y’all!
Okay, so I got to KPerks at noon on the literal dot. We packed up the car, spent some time on her stoop, and then made the trek to Pine Knob, which was about 40 minutes away.
The doors didn’t open until 5 pm, but we weren’t heading there early to wait in line… we were heading there early to tailgate.
Parking Lot Playtime
Before we even got into the parking lot, we encountered a bit of trouble… which wouldn’t be our last bit of trouble, y’all. KPerks and I were prompt together as well (we are basically the same human), arriving right at 2:30 pm, when the parking lot was supposed to open. We pulled up to pull in… and they didn’t let us in.
“That’s okay,” KPerks said, “I know a back way,” and started making turns like she knew what she was doing.
Until we were right back where we started, just turning left into the parking lot instead of right. We sat there at that light for a good 15 minutes, watching all the folks across from us trying to get in, but being waved on by a fella out front. Not a moose… I think a moose would have told us more than this dood.
However, I am a member of many Jack White fan groups on many different platforms, and a lot of them were also going to the show… so I started searching for some reason for this delay to our entry. I found a post that said something like:
They are late letting people in because sound check is running late.
Okay, fair enough. We waited. And were honestly ideally located, because once the lot finally opened, we were the second car in.
We unpacked chairs. KPerks unpacked her parking lot grill, which consisted of:
- Roasting pan
- Rack from a now-defunct air fryer
- Charcoal
We were both very excited about hot dogs, and I’m so glad we had them because that was the last thing I ate until after the concert. It was packed, y’all, and I ain’t about to get lost.
Here are some pics of our grilling setup:
And my hot dogs, I guess. The mustard was pickely, fyi. I enjoyed it muchly.
Line Anticipation (and a minor issue)
The tailgating was fun. Everyone was INTO Jack White. There were speakers playing his oeuvre everywhere I turned. When I handed people the lollipops I made for the occasion (that is what I said when I handed them out for some reason, wtf am I, British?), they understood the name and why I chose that particular shade of blue. If I gave you a lollipop at the concert and now you’re here reading this: Thank you! Wasn’t that an incredible show?!
Then the other folks who were joining us, Ashley and her dad, showed up and we hung out for a bit longer and then joined the GIANT line waiting to get in.
One thing I learned about Pine Knob… the lines move FAST, y’all. Also, the lines to scan your tickets, put your phone in a pouch, and go through security were situated so that we could hear the music from the local band stage, and I think that was a nice touch.
Now, we didn’t have a lot of issues during this wonderful day, but I’m about to tell you about one. So prepare yourself.
We all knew going in that this was a phone-free show. I, in fact, left my phone in the car because I didn’t have any tickets to be scanned or anything like that. I did, however, do a lot of research before the show to see what was allowed and what wasn’t allowed. As far as I could read, standalone cameras were allowed… as long as they didn’t have interchangeable lenses.
My only standalone camera does indeed have interchangeable lenses, so I couldn’t bring that one. Instead, I developed a plan to buy a disposable camera to bring with me. Ya’ll, I nixed that early, cause those are expensive. Instead, I decided to get a cheap ass digital camera that would take shitty pics. That’s all I wanted: some shitty pics of the times we had. I told Mickey I had been researching them for this purpose, and the next day, he took me to Best Buy and got me one! It’s cute, too!
So, we made it through the ticket scanning and the phone pouching and got up to security. I emptied my pockets, and the security human saw my camera and said, “You have to take that back to the car.” KPerks handed me her keys, and I turned and walked away like I was Charlie Brown or George Michael Bluth or similar.
Then I made it to the pouch station and asked, “Can I just put this in a pouch?” They said yes, I did, and I was back with my group before they all finished clearing security.
Souvenirs, Drinks, and Seats
We were hot. It was the hottest part of the day, and we just wanted to find a spot on the lawn and park it. The problem with that was… they weren’t letting people onto the lawn for another 30 minutes. So we went souvenir hunting. Ashley got a shirt from the merch stand, and then I dragged her and KPerks to the local stage where the Third Man Records Rolling Record Store was parked.
They had a Detroit-show-only shirt made by a local artist, and that’s the one I wanted. And that’s the one I got! They were almost sold out by the time we got there, so I was only able to get a small. That’s okay… It’s gonna be decor anyway.
Oh! Before we made it to the Rolling Record Store, one of the trio of us girls had to go to the bathroom. The other two of us were waiting for her, noting that some people got lanyards with their Yonder pouches. We did not. So, the next human we saw wearing one, we asked, “Where did you get that?”
This was, objectively, a bad move, y’all. This fella was DRUNNNNNNNNNNNK. Like, so so so drunk.
His response to us was, “Oh, you’re a lady, so you’re not smart enough to get one”.
Or something insulting like that. I do not recall, because I don’t keep assholes like that in my memory. This one in particular kept talking to us, even though we were giving him nothing. We had to walk away from him, like, three times before he got the hint. Get it together, man.
Then we went to grab some lawn drinks (Diet Pepsi, bleh) (and a last-minute decision of a cherry Jim Beam cocktail with lots of extra cherries for said Diet Pepsi) and went a-lookin’ for Ashley’s dad’s bright orange shirt.
It was pretty easy. He was smack in the middle of everything. And his shirt was very orange (which, of course, I appreciated.)
Lawn Life + Fake Celebs
For the two opening bands, we sat down on the lawn, just chilling. I brought a lil notebook with me so I took some notes like:
- So many people are wearing my soccer kit shirt
- That is what I call this Third Man Records shit that I have that has verythicc yellow and black and white stripes. When I wear it, I feel like I am a soccer supporter for some reason.
- Tons of people wearing my favorite yellow and black horizontal striped shirt.
- I love this shirt so much I have bought it for family and friends because it is so comfy.
- Bring a Swiss Army knife next time
- for helping the other parking lot dwellers open their wine
- also helpful for opening hot dogs
- An old gentleman is leaning on an inflatable wedge
- he is a genius
- where do I get one?
- “the sunset behind us”
- this is a direct quote.
- the sky was pink and light purple, and i didn’t want to forget what it looked like
But, if I’m being honest, I mostly used it to play the “Fake Celebrity Game”. This is a game that I have been playing for, like, 30 years. It has had a bit of a sabbatical, because tbh, my phone has ate up the time I used to spend playing that.
You’ve probably played it before, right? It’s the game where you see someone who vaguely looks like a celebrity (or someone you know), and you pretend that it is actually the celeb. Look, I dunno, my friend Billy and I used to play it all the time while waiting in any line: movie, cruise ship boarding, amusement park… it didn’t matter.
So I got our whole group in on it. Here is who we saw:
- Dan Harmon
- wearing a “VCR of Death” shirt
- Big Tim
- Zac Oyama
- Dax Shepherd with purple hair
- Bret Michaels
- Hipster Variant Geoffrey P. (a friend of mine)
- Lance Bass with frosted tips
- Tarzan
- Shirtless, with dreads
- Kieran Culkin
- Odessa A’Zion
- blonde
- Frank Sinatra that never died
- Kate Berlant
- Spencer H. (Mickey’s son, who is 6’9″)
- short
- Rosie the Riveter
- Bart Marek, Orlando realtor
- Daniel Dennis, Orlando podcaster
- HE WAS WITH BART MAREK!!!!!
- Tommy Chong
- not high
- Seth Rogen
- skinny
- Matty Matheson
- gay
- John Turturro
- Hugh Laurie
- with massive beard
- Dave Grohl
- sat right in front of us
(not a complete list, but I did fill up three pages of my notebook.)
Shoetime (and a bit on the opening acts)
Like I said, we sat down for the openers and just had some relaxey time. I loved, loved, loved one of the openers and was meh on the other.
Prostitute
This band is from Dearborn, Michigan, which is about five minutes from the Professor Haus.
I LOVED THEM. They had a sound that was familiar (noise rock), but with a unique sound that came from their Middle Eastern backgrounds and influences. Here, you can listen.
It’s not the same as live, but you’ll catch the vibe. The music was fantastic, but what got me the most about this band was the lead singer. He was also on keys, from what I could see, which was kind of neat. The way he moved to this driving music really captured my imagination. It was slow and almost sensual, but not, like, overtly sexy. The intricacies he found in the music through the movement of his body invited me to listen deeper, if that makes sense?
These guys have a vision, and it’s unique, and I think they might be big.
If they ever play near me again, I will make it a point to see them.
Easy Action
These guys were fine. Not really my bag. They felt too old and too white, but I understood how they fit into the show. There is probably some lore of history here that I am not aware of. They simply were not my vibe. And that’s okay… not everything has to be!!!
Jack White
I mean, incredible. Breathtaking. Heartshaking. I stood up at the beginning of the show and didn’t sit down once.
Wait, that’s not true. I tried to once during a slower song, but the music moved me too much, and I had to stand up and move with it. So I did. The whole show.
Sometimes that movement meant awkwardly swaying and rubbing a piece of my skirt between my fingers, as, like, a grounding thing. Sometimes that meant clapping my hands so hard I was sure they would hurt the next day. At almost all times, though, that meant singing along as loudly as I pleased.
That was one thing I found notable about Lawn Life at Pine Knob… I wasn’t the only one singing along. I looked around me, and everyone was belting it out. Here’s the thing though, I couldn’t hear their individual voices: just Jack and the crowd as a whole. It was some sort of acoustics magic, and I was quite impressed.
If you read my previous blog, you know there are five songs I was hoping to hear more than anything. I got three of ’em, one that I thought I had zero chance of hearing.
Here’s the full set list:
- That’s How I’m Feeling
- Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground
- First tears sprung to my eyes
- Sixteen Saltines
- First real shriek of joy
- Dollar Bill
- First time I jumped up and down
- Right before I left, I told Mickey, “I really hope of (all the songs on the new album) that he plays “Dollar Bill”
- It’s Rough on Rats (If You’re Asking)
- Hotel Yorba
- Number 2 on the list of songs I wanted to hear
- Tears down the face
- Unbelievable Happiness
- Broken Boy Soldier
- G.O.D. and the Broken Ribs
- Cannon
- Old Scratch Blues
- Got to hear him sing my name lots of times
- The Union Forever
- Number 3 on the list of songs I wanted Jack to play
- This and the preceding two songs were mashed up into a medley, and it was so well done.
- Jack White added “AI” to the list of things he’s not interested in in “The Union Forever”
- The crowd ROARED in agreement
- Delta Bound
- Fell in Love With a Girl
- The crowd lost their shit
- Steady, as She Goes
- This part felt like a Cowboy Mouth concert
- At the end, when Fred LeBlanc takes the crowd through “Jenny Says”
- KPerks and I originally bonded over our mutual love of Cowboy Mouth, so this felt very fitting
- At the end, when Fred LeBlanc takes the crowd through “Jenny Says”
- This part felt like a Cowboy Mouth concert
I would have been good with the show ending here. While I only heard 2/5 of my hopeful songs, I arguably heard the most important one (“Hotel Yorba”). However, after a VERY SHORT break, Jack and his band came back for a…
Encore
It was VERY LONG. Here’s what they played:
- Icky Thump
- IMMEDIATE HYPE
- Me and the rest of the audience were into this
- When we all sang along to:
- “White Americans
- What? Nothin’ better to do?
- Why don’t you kick yourself out
- You’re an immigrant too
- Who’s using who?
- What should we do?
- Well, you can’t be a pimp
- And a prostitute too”
- Ranks up there in the top moments of my life.
- Thick as Thieves
- Derecho Demonico
- Carolina Drama
- y’all
- Y’all.
- Y’ALL!
- This started playing, and I couldn’t believe it. I thought it was such a long shot.
- It’s a LONG song.
- It’s a story song.
- It’s not flashy.
- But it is good as hell.
- And other folks in the crowd got as excited as I did.
- 3/5 songs heard on my list, btw
- Little Bird
- Cannot believe I was lucky enough to hear this song live
- Raising the Grain
- Lazaretto
- Seven Nation Army
- Incredible with a full crowd of Jack lovers.
- Just simply perfect
I won’t lie, though, every time a song ended during the encore, I silently chanted in my head, “play ‘Black Math’,” over and over again. He did not, and that’s okay. He played it the night before at the Salt Shed in Chicago, so I knew my chances were slim.
Two other things about the show:
At one point the moon just appeared above the stage. It was giant and pink, and I poked KPerks and said, “Moon!” and she marveled at it as well.
Lighters are infinitely better than phone lights. Warmer and more human. It was magical. I am on board with more phone-free phones, y’all.
The End
We were in no rush to leave, so we hung out on the lawn for a bit and then headed to the world’s most efficient bathroom. There was an “in” door and an “out” door, and a separate room for handwashing. People got in and out of there so fast, y’all. Venue architects should study this bathroom.
Then we unpouched our phones (and camera) and headed to our cars. We hung out in the parking lot while we waited for the traffic to die down. When, in my words, the traffic was swangin’ (why the hell I said this, I do not know), we made our way home.
It was an incredible day, and I’m so lucky I got to go to this sold-out show with people as cool as I did. 10/10 would do again.
Oh, one last thing… the instant I got my camera out of my Yonder pouch, I made us all pose for a selfie:
A shitty pic, just what I wanted.
