I know those “Eh?” jokes are so cheap, but I can’t stop myself from making them for some reason. Here is part 1 of the Canada adventure if you need to catch up.
Okay, so where were we? We just finished some poutine and our next stop was a Canada dispo for science reasons. You know me, always wanting to know what the differences are in the way things work. Even from state to state the experience has varied wildly.
However, one thing has always stayed the same, you gotta show your ID, you gotta check in, you gotta get one millions stickers with your name on all the pieces of marijuana you leave with.
So, we walk .2 miles (or however many kilometers that is) from the Poutinerie to the dispensary. There were quite a few to choose from with in walking distance. We saw this Canadian Building on the walk, which is probably the most Canadian thing we’d seen yet.
When we walk in, there is a security figure at the front of the store. I make to reach for my wallet inside my purse and she just waved us in. NO checking our IDs, no massive long signup, just a wave into the oiud wonderland, where I figured all the paperwork would happen.
It did not. They just asked what I wanted (two pre-rolls please) and delighted in my delight of the novelty of making a smokeable plant purchase that was less invasive than buying a bottle of booze is in the US.
No ID, no paperwork, no nothing. Just walk in and buy it. It felt fake. It was very nice.
Then they gave us some free cookies and sent us on our way!
Our next stop was the river walk park area, because I like looking at big bodies of water with cities across the way. Detroit is real pretty y’all.
We found a bench and tried to light up my pre-roll in the windy winds of Windsor, but it was not easy and my joint ended up being just a big ol boat, but it was okay, honestly. I got the experience I was after.
Oh also, the Canadian Dispo had weeb drinks so I got one of those as well. It was Cherry Cola flavored and I was delighted with it.
I will say it did feel weird or wrong to be sitting there doing that. Hell, it still feels weird or wrong to do it from the comfort of my own front stoop. I even asked the wonderful folks at the Dispo where it was safe to imbibe.
“Just act like it’s booze. If you wouldn’t drink there, don’t smoke there. There’s a park by the river that we like. Just don’t go to the right side, because that’s where the police station is.”
OH OH! Speaking of the Canadian Police, we saw an interaction between them and a jaywalker during this part of our journey. A fella was walking all willy nilly through the crosswalk while the jaunty walking fellow wasn’t lit up. The orange hand was saying STOP but this dood was still walking across the street.
“You’re gonna get yourself killed,” The Canadian Police warned him, yelling from across the street.
“good” he replied, still walking.
“We’ll meet you over there,” The officers gestured to the side of the street the fella was walking towards.
Then, THEN, the police waited for the jaunty walking dood to show up and walked towards the jaywalker.
We didn’t get to see what happened next because we were walking the other way, but I am kind of curious. My imagination has already filled in the blanks with at least ten different endings.
After my giggle flower, we continued our adventure. This time, I used my amazing on-foot navigation skills to navigate us to Canadian Caesar’s Casino. It wasn’t that hard. It’s a pretty tall building with a sign.
Being a Tuesday afternoon in September, the casino was empty as hell, which made for a very enjoyable experience. I adore the sights and sounds of a casino; they both provide really wonderful stimulation to my brain. However when you add in too many people who have no sense of personal space or are talking all at the same too loud volume, it becomes too much for me.
So this was a real treat. We just walked around a bit, taking it all in. We stepped back and watched a craps game where a bunch of people got very excited but I am still not 100% sure what is ever happening in that game. I get a little bit closer every time though.
Then, Mickey asked me, “Wanna play the slots?”
I said, “Yes, but I dunno which one yet. Let’s just walk around until we see, like a Snoopy or a Wolf one.”
And that’s what we did. Just wandering around, reading the names of each slot machine we passed aloud, feeling it around to see if it was the right one for us.
Then we turned a corner and there it was: Wolf King- the Canadian Slot Machine. We traded our American money in for Canadian Cash and got our player’s cards (which came with $20 of free food yay) and got to playin’ the one-armed bandit.
We didn’t play with much. Started with $20 US and got back 25 CAD and some change. Mickey took the 5 and I took the 20 directly to the Wolf King and started playing. He plopped down at whatever machine was next to me and did the same.
It was a fun time- I stayed a little bit up most of the time, and Mickey seemed to be doing similarly well on his 5 bucks. Then, I look over and he’s just sitting there staring at the machine as his winnings kept growing and growing.
He ended up with like $78.
They were penny slots, so I think that’s damn good. 😆
He played down to $75 and cashed out, while my stash kept dwindling down until it was like $13. I felt bad, but we moved on, cause I also wanted to play some that I could actually pull the arms on.
My Papa was big into slot machines. He had a system and everything. He’d take cruises all the time out of Cape Canaveral just so he could play the slots. He never came home with less money than he started with. Who knows? Maybe his system worked! He prefered the red, white and blue or double diamond machines, so that’s what I looked for.
I sat down at a RWB Machine but it didn’t feel right, nor was I doing well, so we moved on. Then I found a Double Diamond and played it a bit and ended up with some winnings of my own, which I also cashed out immediately.
We traded our tickets into Canadian money and tried to find the exit to walk out to our car. We were about half a mile away at this point.
However when we got outside, we were greeted with… CANADIAN RAIN. And not just, like, a sexy movie drizzle or something. It was fat drops falling at a steady pace. I figured we’d just walk through the rain and get wet, but then Mickey turned to me and asked, “Should we go spend some of our winnings on an umbrella at the Caesar’s gift shop?”
We spent $40 on a lovely, large rainbow umbrella and started the walk back to the car.
This was spotted on the walk. Our next stop was a Canadian Grocery Store to get Canada snacks. You know your girl needed some all-dressed, right?
So we did that and it was delightful and y’all did you know how good Wine Gums are? They are very tasty. Here is Larry the Pool Sloth (NOT A TEDDY BEAR, GUY) with our haul:
I love Kit Kats so much right now and Canadian Kit Kats are extremely superior and come in many different flavors, as you can see above.
Next up finding a spot to enjoy my final Canadian Pre-roll, which was gonna be a challenge because it was so dang rainy. I suggested a nearby park with the hopes that they’d have some sort of pavilions.
They did not. So we went under the protection of some trees near some bleachers, a fence and an abandoned round building. Lighting it was not easy and smoking it was not very enjoyable tbh. I don’t like being moist, in case you didn’t know.
Just as I was finishing up, I was really studying the nearby building, trying to figure out what it is or was or had the potential to be. Then near the bottom of the fence, I spotted it.
Worse than that, a curious skunk.
Luckily it was still on the opposite side of the fence so I wasn’t too concerned.
Then it noticed us and turned our way. It was then that I made sure Mickey had his eyes on it too.
Then it started ambling our way and I started backing up without thinking. My joint was done enough, I figured, so we booked it back to the car before the we could get sprayed by a Canadian Skunk.
Then? We headed home where I really hoped we didn’t have to get pulled in the border patrol office thingie again.
We did not. They asked us some questions, looked through our Canadian groceries and let us back into the USA where the roads were crap and the sidewalks were filthy, comparatively.