Diary of a Stoop Kid

My brain is not very excited by any of the drafts in my drafts folder, but it also doesn’t have a good topic to talk about.

But I still feel like I wanna write, so today, you’re just getting a stream of consciousness. 

It has been rainy all day today and the temps have cooled significantly. I’m bopping around at a balmy 78 degrees and it’s not nearly as humid out as it would be in Florida on a sorta rainy day. 

So I’m on the stoop. Watching the world go by. 

Honestly my favorite place in the world that I wouldn’t have even considered as a top ten place two weeks ago. 

You wanna know how much we like it out here? 

We haven’t hooked up the television. We haven’t watched one bit of TV.

(Okay well that is not true. I felt a little overwhelmed one day, so I put the Dubeks on. Once the episode was done, my brain was straightened on up and I got back to doin’ whatever I was doin’. Also, don’t worry – the Dubeks are getting their own post eventually. It’s my favorite new-to-me comedy with the worst name ever “The Other Two”. If you watch it or have already fallen in love with Lance and the Dubeks, please reach out, I need more people to dance around to “Marry U at Recess” with. I mean, we could even dance to “Stink” or any of the remixes, if you want.) you 

But it’s kind of weird to not watch TV. Y’all know how much I love television, right?! I mean I have a podcast about it! (Your Favorite Episode) Even in the hotel room it was a big part of our life. We were rewatching “Sons of Anarchy” because it was familiar – we’d seen it before – but it had been so long we’d forgotten the storylines. And also how lazy the dialogue was, oof. 

However, I maintain that Jax Teller has one of the top two best bitch faces in the business. Behind Pete Campbell, of course. He’s the best. 

Pete Cambell Bitch Face - Stoop Kid

I mean, in the battle of the bitchface can ANYONE beat Peter Cambell?

So, you know my brain, always looking for patterns, right? That doesn’t stop when I’m bein’ a stoop kid. 

Here are some things I’ve noticed after a week or so of Stoop Kid Life:

  • There are a lot of Chrysler 300s on this road
  • My two neighbors across the street have incredible gardens. I am going to have to socially awkardly write them notes and stealthily tape them to the door (with blue painter’s tape of course as to not muss the finish). What will the notes say, you might ask? They will say, “Help. I kill plants and I live in Alice in Wonderland now and I don’t want to let Lewis Carroll Down. Thank You Please. Jacki from The Professor Haus.
  • People ride bikes on the sidewalk and look happy! I even saw a cheerful elder riding a bright yellow tricycle on the sidewalk. This makes me joyful because I am hoping to get a trike to bop to the library (for my research, you know) and stuff on, but I needed to know how crazy I would look first. Like, I don’t really care any more, but I need to know what sort of reactions to expect, you know?
  • Cobwebs just keep on appearin’, don’t they?
  • I see at least one or two amazingly cool, well cared-for vintage cars per day and that is delightful. Like I wish I had a camera set up so I could post some of the wonderful things I see on TikTok, because by the time I’m done reacting to them, they’re long gone. And I don’t think to document things until I am done reacting to them. Hmm, maybe that is why I have avoided writing about growing up for so long. That’s something to think about.
  • My favorite parts of our lawn are the ones with clover in them. I asked Mickey if we could convert to a 100% clover lawn and he said yes! The grass here is so different than in Florida. More delicate somehow. When it’s all green and lush, it’s gorgeous and picturesque. But when it gets too much sun, or, like, a leaf falls on it the wrong way, it goes all yellow. Not the spots with clover, though. That shit stay green (with tiny white flowers that I adore).
  • It is currently “rush hour” and there is barely any traffic on our street. Mickey’s commute home is pretty straightforward and not filled with all the stops-n-starts of Orlando traffic, so that is another plus for the migration north. 
  • For some reason I want to add an “e” to the word traffic today (just did it again). WTF is that about. 

Okay, well, I am ready a really good book, so I’m gonna go do that now. Okay, bye. Thanks for reading my nonsense. 


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