Hello, I am Jacki, and I’m here with a scientific question.
Do you have this plant in your yard?
Ignore the rest of the yard. It is a work in progress at the moment. There’s a lot of stuff we’re keeping and a lot more we’re getting rid of. There are even some things we’ve had to reevaluate due to the river folks cutting down most of the trees along our riverbank. Still salty as hell about that, y’all, and I’m not done fighting now that the damage is done, either.
That’s not the tale for now, though. Today, I would like to tell you about this plant. I’m trying to change it’s name officially to Sam Reich, the Plant, but more on that later.
It lives on the exterior of our wildflower circle, which is a circle made of interwoven branches that we threw a bunch of wildflower seeds into. The milkweed is going wild this year, y’all, and the butterflies are loving it.
The butterflies (and bees!) are also loving this mystery plant that popped up over the last couple of months.
I say the last couple of months, but it has been in that spot for quite some time, albeit in a much smaller manner. It didn’t start catching my eye until recently, though. That’s because it got so tall. Right now, we reckon it’s at least 7 feet tall!
And it’s honestly so cool looking. The leaves are almost mirror images of each other… and they are huge and sturdy. So sturdy, in fact, that they hold a significant amount of water, which is excellent for bees!!
Another thing about this plant? It is spiky as hell, y’all.
Stems? Spikes!
Leaves? Spikes!
Flowers? Spikes!
All of it… Spikes!
This plant has fascinated me for a long time. I had questions:
- What even was it?
- Were the spikes hard or soft?
- Was it destructive or invasive?
- Were the flowers hard or soft?
- Was it poisonous?
- Were the leaves hard or soft?
- Was it an alien species from another planet? It certainly looked like it.
Y’all, I became obsessed with this plant. I talked to it every day, still do. I wanted to touch the spikes so bad to see how hard they were, but I didn’t want to ouch myself, you know? Or it! I wanted this plant to know that it was living in a safe space with safe people. Even plants need that level of support, y’all.
So, I used the plant identification apps. Day after day, I’d try to figure out what this plant was. For a while, when it was still under 3 feet tall, I’d get a variety of answers, so I could never feel confident in saying what sort of plant it was.
However, once it hit about five feet tall, I started getting a consistent answer.
It’s this guy: Dipsacus laciniatus.
So here’s what I’ve learned about this tall, spiky wonder:
Name
Cutleaf teasel. However, I don’t think it fits, and this blog is acting as my campaign to get the name officially changed to Sam Reich. (more on that later)
Family
It’s in the honeysuckle family, which gives it a surprisingly gentle origin story.
Origin
Native to Europe and Asia, but doing pretty well for itself here in North America.
Reproduction
Spreads only by seed, so every plant starts from a single, determined little sprout.
Ecosystem impact
Tough, adaptable, and thrives in good soil… hell yeah for the soil at The Professor Haus.
Control options
Researchers are exploring natural ways to manage it, like moths and mites, nature teaming up with nature.
Life cycle
Lives for several years, but flowers just once before it wraps things up with a grand finale.
Okay, so Sam Reich, the Plant, is a little invasive, but handleable. And once I read that it flowers only once in its lifetime, my decision was made.
We’re keeping the weird, alien plant until it flowers. Then we’ll knock it down, dig up the root, and send it on its way back to its home planet.
Now, in my research on this plant, I read that it lives up to five years, and that was an investment I was willing to make to see a once-in-a-lifetime flower. Luckily, I didn’t need to wait that long.
It’s like the plant was listening to me, y’all, cause the day after I made this decision, the flowers started, uh, flowering.
“I can’t believe this plant is supposed to live for five years, flower, and then die, and it’s flowering already! It’s not even been a year yet!!!” I exclaimed after a couple days of healthy flowering.
“Maybe it’s been here longer than a year. Maybe,” Mickey said, “it’s been here the whole time.”
Ever since then, it’s been the Sam Reich plant, and I would like to formally rename it. How does one go about this process? Any hints or tips are appreciated.
I have a BIG imagination, y’all, and the lore around this plant is no exception. In my brain, it is still a plant from another planet, and it’s here to evaluate and separate the good humans and the bad humans.
Good thing I’ve been so nice to it, right?
Two more things and then I’ll stop babbling about this plant:
- Yes, all the spikes are hard. At Mickey’s suggestion, I put on some gloves and gave this plant a good, old-fashioned feel up. The spikes are hard, the leaves are hard, the spikey flowers are hard. This is a dangerous plant, y’all. Sharp as hell. I was gentle with Sam Reich, though, and
- I was conducting a friend interview with my friend Ross McCoy, and the subject of weird yard plants came up. I sent him a pic of mine after our conversation, and he shared it with his wife… who said they had one in their yard too. This makes me feel even stronger about my alien theory. It’s seeking out intelligent people to figure things out.
So my original question still remains. Do you have one of these plants in your yard? What’s your theory about it?
