Yesterday morning I woke up, walked downstairs and took a Covid test, much like I have the past ten or so days. However, yesterday, something was different! My test was negative!
And immediately, I did not trust it. So I waited an hour and I took another one. Negative again!
Mickey was still sleeping at this time, because he is working nights, so his sleep schedule is all jacked up right now, so my brain told me to stay quarantined, just in case he was randomly positive for some reason. So I did.
Then he woke up and tested and he was also negative and then he piled me into the car and showed me a ton of Halloween displays that had popped up that he sees on his drive to work.
It was delightful as you can see.
But that is not the weird worry I wanted to talk about it. This feels very embarrassing to admit because of how ridiculous I know it to be.
I guess that’s progress., huh?
So, needless to say, my sleep schedule is all jacked up right now, so I’ve been living that late night life.
Every single night while I was isolating, about 1 or 2am, I’d get the same tickle in the back of my brain.
“Your knees have been bent all day. That cannot be good.”
See? During the day, I sit in my bisexual chair of amazingness. Yes, I sit on it in many different ways, but my knees are almost always bent at a 90 degree angle at the very least.
Then when I am feeling lazy and want to get cozy coze and just bundle up and watch something on TV, I’ll curl up in the corner chair that we put into my office for this express purpose. When I do that, that’s just me all balled up. I always try to take up as little space as possible.
And that extends to my sleeping life. I’ve been sleep-isolating in our giant king bed, all by myself. But I seriously only take up the space of a really fluffy pillow.
So yeah, my knees are bent then, too.
Without fail, all of this information would catch up to my brain a couple hours before sleeping and it was really difficult for me to focus on whatever I was watching.
All the while the rest of my brain is talking to itself, like, “What the fuck is your issue mate. Look the knee works fine. It’s bending and straightening and it works just fine. Shut up and enjoy this Streetwear competition.”
The annoying part of my brain retorts, “But they’ve been bent all day!”
And it makes my whole body twitchy and it’s hard to focus on anything other than the state of my knees.
I’ll roll my bisexual chair over and use it as a footstool to extend my legs and then my brain shuts up and I can enjoy “The Hype.”
So, that is just a small example of what it feels like to live in my OCD brain. It will get fixated, repeatedly, on the dumbest things. Why the eff did it pick my knees while I was sick, though?