No, wait! Let me tell you what has been going on first.
Okay, so we are moving.
Yeah, it’s fast.
No, we are not moving to the Cathedral… yet.
In fact, we are not 100% sure where we’re moving so far, but we’re working on it.
AND I AM SO EXCITED.
For the last year or so, Mickey has been working a job where he has to travel a LOT. Like so much.
And his brain didn’t jive with it, so he found something else.
But that means we have to move to Michigan.
Had I been to Michigan before? Nope!
So I took a trip and fell in love, as you all saw.
Also, I fell in love with this cathedral that is all abandoned and stuff and felt a pull to create a creative community.
Then Mickey got a job offer and things started looking real.
Of course, we have been half-assed looking at houses ever since this became a possibility. Even walking past a couple potential homes on our trip up there.
Well, last week Mickey sent me a link to the literal home of my dreams.
I am not exaggerating when I say… this house is like a police sketch artist asked me to describe my dream house and all the stupid silly things I’d want in it and then drew it for it.
It’s wild, y’all.
I’ve been secretly sneaking glances at this house hourly until Mickey came home from his latest trip so he could see my gid in person.
Except on Friday… Mickey came home with Covid and has been quarantined ever since.
And that’s not been easy. My brain is in overdrive trying to make sure *I* don’t get it, taking care of his eating and drinking and outside time needs, making sure he has all the things to be healthy (He is doing mostly okay, just allergy-y feeling and cough-y and probably ready to get outta the bedroom) and packing up the house and doing my freelance work and writing the blogs and doing Your Favorite Episode stuff.
And yesterday at about this time, I was just beat. I was so down. Our Realtor was touring my dream house (which I have deemed the Professor House) that afternoon and I was sure it was gonna be riddled with termites and in terrible condition.
Mickey had just tested again and he was STILL positive. I’d been working, relaxing, sleeping AND eating on the same couch for days. It doesn’t look like I’ve made a dent in packing despite there being many boxes full already. And there was a lot of other compounding things over the last few days that made this repeat in a loop in my head.
My brain was in a not good place, but then I remembered a TikTok I saw a few days ago.
And at first I brushed it off as some weird brand of toxic positivity… and that makes me feel twitchy AF. I know toxic positivity is something I used to engage in pretty frequently, because I didn’t know any better. And I don’t want to be that person anymore, because it is okay when things go poorly sometimes. That’s all part of acceptance to me.
The TikTok basically said something like, “Every time you get stuck the “what can go wrong?” loop… flip the damn script.”
I had honestly been using this trick in my head since I’d seen the TikTok, but this was my biggest spin yet and simply repeating it wasn’t working for me as well as it should.
So I made this right quick, slapped it on the wall somewhere in my line of vision and called it a day.
Every time I looked over at it, it helped me change the negative thinking in my brain. Until I asked myself… how is that negative spinning up even serving me?
It was not. Not one bit.
And once I started not thinking negative thoughts, the day flipped.
What was once a dark day full of impossibilities because bright and full of promise.
We had a call with our real estate agent who was over the moon with joy after her tour of the house. She talked so effusively about the neighborhood and some of the details in the house that I had fallen in love with over the pictures.
Then, slowly, as the night progressed… the videos of her tour came in.
And, y’all, this house is better than I could have dreamed. There are some piddly issues of course and definitely a creepy basement room (that I actually love).
And the night got progressively better as we saw more and more of the house via video. This house is OUR house.
I could imagine all the potential and feel myself living there. Making a real life.
It’s at that point where a lot of people in my life would tell me (in the past and still here in the present), “Now, don’t get too excited about this. I wouldn’t want you to get let down.”
And you know what? I think that has done me a real disservice in the past. Because I would listen and wouldn’t let myself get excited about things and then I didn’t get the chance to experience the let down.
It’s like people are trying to manage my emotions for me and I am trying to manage them on my own, okay? I am a grown up. I can handle things.
If me being let down makes you uncomfortable, that’s on you. Not me. Let me feel things freely, ok? I want to deal with my emotions because I spent so many years focused on everyone else’s.
Also, I have backup plans in place of course that I can get pretty excited about if this one falls through. (but it’s def my fave.)
So this morning… we met with our realtor to make an offer on the house. And the call took no more than 15 minutes.
And 30 minutes later, while we’re still buzzing from the high, we got a text from her… telling us that the price of the house had dropped before we even got a chance to make our offer.
It suffers from nicest house on the block syndrome, you see?
So we made an offer at the lower price.
I am embarrassed to admit this because it feels all woo woo to me, but I don’t think things would have gone as well for us if I hadn’t switched up the script in my head and put that silly little sign somewhere I could see it.
And that’s not to say that my positive thinking caused anything to happen. It’s just… if I’d still be thinking negative things would have been through different colored glasses or something.
Look. I dunno. It’s a win and I’m taking it.
I cannot concentrate on anything other than the potential of living in my literal dream house, so I’m gonna go float in the pool for a bit.
Send us some good vibes won’t ya? We’ll have plenty of room for (approved) visitors.