How to Make “Damn! That Smells GOOD!” Pasta from Your Hotel Room

…without setting off the fire alarms.

Yesterday, I did our first for real grocery shop of the hotel stay. 

Sure, we visited a Meijer the day we checked in, but please keep in mind that it was my first visit to a full on grocery store in 2+ years, so it was pretty overwhelming for me. 

So I only panic purchased. 

You know, frozen pizzas and nacho supplies, Cherry Coke Zero and random candy. The important things. 

And also something called “Lemon Butta Pie” which was insanely delicious and I will be looking for it every time I shop. 

So yesterday, I ordered groceries from Instacart. I tried to buy the things I’d buy at our normal home, but that I could cook on our limited equipment. 

So, I got a lot of frozen things and some stuff to make pasta.

And yesterday I cooked hotel pasta.

Now, full disclosure, Mickey’s tummy is sensitive to noodles so I have gotten in the habit of only buying/making enough noodles for myself and this time was no exception. 

We keep the freezer stocked with vegan chicken for situations like these, so I planned for my normal amount of noods. You know, just enough to have one bowl and then go back for a tiny bit of bonus seconds, but not too much because no one likes the feeling of noodle belly. 

The Mickey walked in the door early, while I was boppin’ around with my lil beans in (in case you forgot that is what I call my headphones. they look like lil beans!), cooking a meal for the first time in forever. 

I barely noticed him even walk in the door, until he said, “Damn, that smells GOOD!”

And then I paused Kanye and I jumped one million feet. 

AND THEN IMMEDIATELY FELT BAD BECAUSE I ONLY HAVE ENOUGH NOODS FOR ONE. 

However, I famously always make too much sauce, so I said that he could use the leftover sauce and shrooms to pour over his chicken. 

Everyone was happy!

Omg, y’all. I just realized I am doing that annoying thing where I said I will give you a recipe and then I tell you a story instead. Ugh, I am sorry. 

Here is what I made:

Pasta:

Serves 1 (plus extra sauce and shroom to pour over some chicken patties)

6 Land O Lakes Butter Balls (separated into piles of 2 and 4)

1/2 packed of white mushrooms

5 Campari tomatoes

1 packet of pre-cooked 60-second noods (at home I would cook my own noods, but I have a two burner stove here, y’all)

Too much garlic (I never measure garlic, I just put it in until it smells right)

One hotel sauce pan that looks whimsical for some reason

One too-large cookin’ spoon

One too-small paring knife

I think that’s it. 

Then here is how I made it. 

  1.  Plop two butter balls into the whimsical pan under, like, medium heat. Then panic turn it down when it melts faster than you’re used to. 
  2. Toss that half a packed of chopped up mushrooms in there and swirl ’em all around, getting coated in that good good butter juice
  3. Cook the shrooms until you get them at the mouthfeel you like best (I like ’em a little bite-y, so I don’t cook ’em as much as most folks), then set them aside in a too small bowl (I do not know what they think we are eating this hotel, a small bowl of pudding?)
  4. Plop the other four butter balls into the pan and let them get melty. And a little bubbly. 
  5. Then squirt some garlic in there until you like how it smells and let it get a lil brown and yummy (but not too much brown – you still want the bite-y garlic taste).
  6. Then chop off the tops of the five Campari tomatoes. I am sure other tomatoes would work just fine too. The reason that I chose Campari is because I wanted the tomato flavor to really sing in this dish and I know they would have a lovely tune for me. 
  7. Then put the tomatoes top down in the pan, lower the heat and walk away for a bit. 
  8. During this time yesterday, I watched Orange is the New Black and played my silly Always Sunny game on my phone. I guess it was like 15 minutes?
  9. Then I checked them again, because I didn’t want to have an embarrassing smoke alarm go off in my own room. 
  10. During this step, a rogue Mickey might walk into your hotel room and exclaim how delicious it smells. Feel bad about giving him the tummy rumblies, cause this won’t be done until like another hour at least. Do not let it throw you off, just keep stirring. 
  11. Then put the top on and turn off the heat and walk outside to look at the lake for 30 minutes. I think you can skip this step and just keep the low heat on until you think it is ready. 
  12. When the sauce feels ready, I pop my pouch of noodles in the microwave for 60 seconds and wonder, for a brief moment, if the microwave is extra tall in this room or if I just got a lil shorter again. 
  13. Dump the noods in the pot with the juice. 
  14. Dump the mushrooms on top of that. 
  15. Swirl it around the pan. 
  16. Serve. 

Now, serving could be as simple as just dumping that pan into a bowl, or, if you’re lazy, eating directly out of the pan. 

Of course, my brain would never be as nice as to let me live a life that simple, so here is what I did. 

I slowly, lovingly, placed spoonful after spoonful into my dish, making sure to tilt the spoon and drain as much of the sauce back into the pan as possible, so that Mickey has juice for his chicken. 

This way works better than me combining everything in the bowl and just leaving him sauce, because, while I do not like overly wet noodles (I always leave a sauce pond at the bottom of the bowl), I do like full coverage noods. So even if it is a bit of extra work, I think it is worth it. 

Okay, so there it is. I made this in the hotel yesterday and it was tasty. I have never written a recipe out like this before. 

How did I do?

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