And guess what, y’all? I’d totally do it again.
Last month, I saw a post on Reddit where someone took an entire container of cookie dough, plopped it on a pan, and baked it. The end result? A cookie cake.
I knew I had to try it.
Now, you might not know this, but every year for Mickmas, Mickey gets his own cookie cake. Typically, I bake it from scratch, but in a pinch, it’s store-bought. Once, in addition to the cookie cake, one of my local brewer friends brewed a Cookie Cake Stout as a birthday treat. It was quite delicious, and I’d go back to Ten10 to have that beer (and many of their others) again.
So, what I’m saying is, I live in a household that knows cookie cake. So, yeah, of course I had to try this way easier way to make one.
Here’s what you should do if you’d like to copy me exactly:
(pre-step): Pre-heat the oven.
To 325 degrees, please.
(after the dough has been procured, ofc)
Step 1: Buy a tub of cookie dough and open it.
This is the only step I didn’t photograph because I simply got too excited to dump. But I bought this tub for about 7 bucks at my local Kroger. It is 36 ounces of pure, unadulterated chocolate chip cookie dough.
So, you open it up. There’s that white clicky lid that you remove first. Then, underneath, you’ll find a thin plastic protective layer that you must remove. This can be tricky, because these never act right, do they? So you might need a knife. Once you can see cookie dough (and smell it, if your sense of smell isn’t ruined by COVID or hitting your head in a golf cart accident), you’re ready to move on to step two.
Step 2: Dump.
That cookie dough you just opened? Smack it up, flip it, rub it down.
No, wait. First, you need protection.
So, prepare a baking sheet. I used a well-loved 15 x 21-inch Nordic Ware sheet pan. Then I covered it with a layer of Kroger brand parchment paper. That’s the end of the prep.
Then, and only then, did I smack, flip, and rub it down. By which I mean, I dumped the cookie dough onto the sheet pan ass up and observed it for a moment. Then I decided it might do better right side up, so I flipped it.
And what I mean by rub it down is that I washed my hands immediately afterwards. I do have OCD, after all.
Step 3: Baking. Baked?
Make sure your oven is pre-heated to 325 before moving on to this step.
Open the oven door.
Put the sheet pan, topped with parchment paper and cookie dough mound, into the oven. You might need two hands for this portion of events. I mean, it’s a large pan, and it’s got three pounds of cookie on it.
Once your sheet pan and cookie dough are in the oven, close the oven door.
And, yes, the parchment paper should still be involved. I know it feels weird putting paper into an oven that gets very hot, but you have to remember… It’s built for this. Just like we’re apparently built for this world that is burning at the moment.
Set a timer for 50 minutes. Then go do something else. Obsessively check your watch over and over to see how much time it has left.
Walk downstairs 5 minutes early and stare at the squirrels and birds before the timer goes off.
Step 4: Check on it and make it cool(er).
When the timer goes off, immediately go to the oven, peek inside, and snap a photo. I did a terrible job of centering my mound, as you can see above.
Then, immediately lower the temperature to 300 degrees. Set a timer for 30 minutes. Then go do something else again.
If you’d like to do exactly like I did, you could spend that downtime playing Cult of the Lamb: Woolhaven on your Switch. This game has had a hold on me for the better part of a year, and this brand new expansion is M A S S I V E.
If you don’t choose to do this, please let me know what you chose to do instead. Just leave a comment, text me, or whatever.
Step 5: Remove from oven & eat!
When that final alarm goes off, rush to the oven, grabbing your oven mitts along the way. Mine are red, like, lil half mitts that only cover the fingers of my hand. IDK why, but they work better for my brain than the full-length arm covers. If I have full mitts on, my brain sometimes forgets how my hands work.
Put your mitts of choice on, open your oven door, and slide that giant cookie out. Smile real big, because, yeah, it worked.
Give it a couple of minutes to cool, and then cut it however you wish. We decided to have ours in bowls with ice cream on top. I got this Blue Bunny Soft Serve I’d been saving for a special occasion, and it was the PERFECT topping to this warm chocolate chip cookie. They nailed scoopable soft serve, and I’m actually not even sure how they did it. It’s kinda magical.
What I’ll Do Differently Next Time
There was a point near the end of the baking where my nose alarm went off. SEe? I have a pretty fantastic sense of smell, which weirdly got better after my single bout with Covid (as did my taster). With that smeller, I can typically smell when something I am baking is done before the power goes out. I can do this with most repeat lollipop flavors as well.
So, I smelled that my cookie was done, but I still had 15 minutes on the timer. Being a self-proclaimed food scientist, I wanted to follow the recipe strictly on the first attempt. That said, if I used this exact same set of supplies, I’d reduce the time a bit. I’d do 325 degrees for 40 minutes and then 300 for 25 and see what happens.
The cookie, once cooled, was almost too crisp for my liking, and I think reducing the time will fix that issue. The too-crispy cookie did soak up the ice cream real good. It took forever to soak into the cookie, though.
However, I don’t think I will use the same exact supplies next time I try this. I think I’ma try it in a pie plate and see what happens. I’ll keep you posted.
