I Didn’t Learn How to Ride a Bicycle Until I Was an Adult

This is something I’ve found very embarrassing to tell people as a grown up, because it is always met with incredulity or laughter.

And that makes me feel kind of bad because I *am* embarrassed about it. It seems like such an easy, silly thing. 

Whenever anything is easy, people say, “It’s just like riding a bike!”

Except, it’s not. Not for me. 

That’s one of the reasons “Schitt’s Creek” made me so happy. Watching both Alexa and David learn how to ride a bike as grown ups really warmed my heart. Especially since their teachers were coming from a place of love and not ridicule. 

Oh, I feel like I should also say, when I write things like this, I am not doing it from a place of sadness. I realize it can come off that way, but that is not my intention. I’m just musing at all the things that shaped me into this thing that is typing right now. 

As I have previously established, I don’t really think I want driving to be my main mode of transportation any more. 

When I got rid of Yeezus, I think that was it for me owning my own car. I think I will spend less money using a combo public transport, Ubers (with very good tips budgeted), and some sort of Jacki-powered vehicle. 

I am still a little intimidated by public transportation, but I know all it will take is one visit from Stevie navigating it from my house and figuring it out together. It seems like too much for me on my own, for some reason. I’ll get there. 

Even closer to home, though, there is so much to explore. Within, like, two miles of the Professor Haus are at least three little downtown areas with all sorts of independent businesses to support! 

And a library!!!! So, what do I use to get around town that’ll still let me carry stuff home with me. You know, heavy stuff, like books. 

I’ve been giving this a lot of thought lately, especially since my visit to the hairdresser, because I very much enjoyed being able to walk about the lil dowtown Allen Park area with no agenda or plans. 

I could have easily ridden a bike there. Or walked even. I considered walking home after being shut out at the Hungarian Strudel Shop, but then I bought this glass bottle of insect repellent and I am still pretty lazy and my arms are pretty noodly, so I just got an uber home. 

But it would have been the perfect opportunity for a bike with a basket!

I think this is a Huffy but I don’t really care. I think it’s cute. I remember when I first learned to ride a bike, the one I picked out for myself was also a Huffy and people made fun of it for being a Huffy. I have to remind myself that those folks weren’t great friends, even though it felt like they were at the time. 

I would of course add streamers to the handlebars and a bright dingy bell. 

But the thing is, I think I would probably also have to add some training wheels. When I first start riding it, at least. 

Because I know I wouldn’t feel safe up on a bike for a long while. 

Which is why I think this is a much better solution for me:

Except imagine the basket filled with stuffies instead of gifts. And the aforementioned streamers and bell. 

I feel like a tricycle feels more like me. But I still feel this seed of shame inside me that I shouldn’t NEED to WANT a tricycle instead of a bicycle. Because adults ride bikes and that’s it. 

Children ride tricycles. 

But I have never followed a proper adulting path, so I think I’m gonna get me a trike. What other bells and whistles can I put on it?!


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