Josie Lee knew bringing a 260-pound pig into a fancy hotel was going to be an experience.
She just hadn’t expected this kind of experience.
She kept a tight grip on Cletus’s harness as they stepped into the elevator, the scent of lemon-scented cleaner hitting her immediately. This wasn’t like the county fair. No hay, no dirt—just spotless marble floors and soft instrumental music playing overhead.
Cletus let out a suspicious grunt and immediately flopped onto his side, covering half the floor.
Josie Lee sighed. “Really?”
The other passengers gave her a mix of looks.
One was a woman in her fifties, dressed in a red blazer, exuding the kind of confidence that made Josie Lee feel like she should apologize for existing. She held a leather handbag with the same precision Josie Lee’s dad held a fencing tool: like she knew exactly what she was doing and had no patience for nonsense.
The other was a fella in his twenties, barefoot, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts like he had somehow gotten lost on his way to a beach. He looked at Cletus with pure delight.
“No way,” he said, grinning. “I’ve never been in an elevator with a pig before.”
“Yeah, well, Cletus isn’t much of a city guy,” Josie Lee muttered.
The woman sighed. “Do pigs often take elevators?”
Josie Lee straightened. “He’s a grand champion.”
The woman raised an eyebrow. “Ah. Well. That changes everything.”
The guy chuckled. “Respect.”
Josie Lee glanced between them. “So, uh. What brings you two here?”
The woman checked her watch, looking unimpressed by the small talk. “I’m Nora. I run a television network. I have a meeting in ten minutes, and I’m late, someone is getting fired.”
The guy grinned. “Nice. I’m Matty. Here to audition for Survive the Wild.”
Josie Lee’s eyebrows lifted. “The reality show?”
Matty nodded. “Yep. You know, where they drop people in the jungle with, like, one rope and a single peanut, and you have to make it work?”
Nora smirked. “And you think you can handle that?”
Matty shrugged. “I figure I’ve survived other things.”
Josie Lee frowned. Was this flirting? No. No way. These people were from entirely different worlds. But Matty was looking at Nora like she was a particularly interesting sunset, and Nora—who Josie Lee was pretty sure didn’t do flirting—was actually paying attention to him.
This was officially getting weird.
Josie Lee cleared her throat. “Well, uh, I’m Josie Lee. My dad’s speaking at the agriculture conference, and I’m here to show Cletus.”
Matty nodded, then looked down at Cletus, who was sprawled out like he’d already decided this was his home now. “Big guy doesn’t seem too worried about public speaking.”
Josie Lee smirked. “Nope. He’s all about the snacks.”
The elevator gave a soft ding as it passed the fifth floor. Josie Lee relaxed a little. Maybe, just maybe, she could get through this without any—
The elevator jolted to a stop.
Hard.
Josie Lee grabbed the railing, barely keeping her balance. Matty stumbled but caught himself. Cletus let out an indignant grunt.
The lights flickered once, then held steady.
A tiny alarm began beeping.
“Oh, fantastic,” Nora muttered, jabbing at the buttons. “Just what I needed.”
Matty pressed a couple himself. Nothing happened.
Josie Lee pressed the emergency call button. A staticky voice crackled over the speaker: “We’re experiencing a temporary delay. Please remain patient.”
Matty rocked back on his heels. “Soooo… we’re stuck, huh?”
Nora sighed, rubbing her temples. “Unbelievable.”
Josie Lee exhaled. “Well. This is great.”
Cletus, wholly unconcerned, let out a loud grunt and sprawled even more, as if he was planning to live here permanently.
Matty chuckled. “Dude’s thriving.”
Josie Lee rolled her eyes. “I think he’s just waiting for snacks.”
Nora leaned against the railing, pulling out her phone. “No service. Of course.” She gave Matty a look. “So. What exactly is your strategy for Survive the Wild? Because I have a feeling it’s mostly luck.”
Matty smirked. “Nah. Mostly vibes.”
Josie Lee groaned. “Oh my God, I am not third-wheeling whatever this is.”
Before anyone could respond, Cletus suddenly lifted his head, ears twitching.
Josie Lee knew that look.
“Oh no,” she muttered.
Too late.
Cletus lunged—surprisingly fast for a pig his size—toward Nora’s designer handbag.
“Absolutely not!” Nora yanked it out of reach. “What is wrong with him?”
Josie Lee sighed. “He smells food.”
Nora pressed a hand to her forehead. “I have a protein bar.”
Matty snickered. “Might wanna hand that over before he makes that bag his lunch.”
Nora groaned but pulled the bar from her bag. She held it out, and Cletus immediately devoured it in one bite, smacking his lips.
Matty grinned. “Dude’s got good taste.”
Nora smirked. “Clearly.”
Josie Lee threw up her hands. “I hate this.”
As if on cue, the elevator lurched back to life.
The floor numbers blinked on again, and the staticky voice returned: “We’re back up and running! Thank you for your patience.”
The doors slid open, and Josie Lee nearly lunged out, dragging Cletus with her.
Matty strolled out casually, stretching his arms. “Well. That was fun.”
Nora followed, then—before walking off—reached into her blazer pocket and pulled out a business card. She handed it to Matty.
“If you ever get tired of reality TV and want to try real television, call me.”
Matty twirled the card between his fingers, grinning. “You serious?”
Nora smirked. “Very.”
Josie Lee gagged.
Matty winked. “See you around, Josie Lee.”
Josie Lee muttered, “I hope not.”
Matty walked off, whistling. Nora followed, her heels clicking against the tile.
Josie Lee looked at Cletus. “We’re never talking about this again.”
Cletus let out a satisfied grunt.
I love it! I could see it all. I also love pigs.
Since you can picture it and I can’t… was the fella handsome?