Meet My Yard: A Blue Jay

I had an encounter with a birb this week.

I am unsure how I feel about it.

A blue jay has been screeching at me for about a week now. It hangs out in two trees mostly. One is right in front of the stoop:

This loud birb normally yells at me from about a third of the way up the tree, typically on the left side— staring at me while I give my squirrel buddies peanuts.

Side note: we have some new friends:

• The “Frosty” triplets (we cannot tell them apart)
  • Frosty
  • Frost
  • Killer Frost
• The General
  • Every time I see him walking up, I start signing this

So, there I am, feeding my squirrel friends, and this blue jay keeps screeching in our direction. Then, it flies away.

Inevitably, I’ll hear something on the roof of the front porch. It took me some time to make the connection between the birb and the roof noise, but then one day I heard a scramble up there and then saw a flash of blue fly into the tree to the right of me.

It was the blue jay. And it started screeching again. It felt like it was trying to catch my attention. But, like, it couldn’t, right?! Birbs don’t want to talk to ME!

Like, what would it even say?!

Here is the best video I’ve been able to capture of this crazy blue jay. It was in one of its few moments of silence. Or else it knew I was filming and was fucking with me.

It’s a pretty bird, right?!

Okay, so after about a week of this happening consistently in the afternoons, I told Mickey about it after he woke up. He’s back on thirds now, which is probably his permanent schedule at this job.

“Maybe it wants a peanut,” he said.

I thought about it for a while and decided next time I saw the screeching blue jay; I would throw a peanut at it and see if it would shut it up.

I didn’t have to wait long.

I heard the screeching before I saw the bird fly into the tree at the front of the house.

I had a whole passel of my squirrel buddies around me, happily eating nuts: Vic, the Mean One, Dinwiddie, Margot, and Holyfield (he has a chewed-up ear).

The bird screeched.

I locked eyes with it.

Oh, here is a photo of a blue jay by a professional so you can lock eyes with it.

Except in person, this birb seems a whole lot bigger.

And loud, so loud.

So, our eyes are locked, right?

It’s screeching. I’m trying to keep an eye on this birb and manage the needs of all the squirrels. Some of them can be mean (see: The Mean One).

I yelled, “You want a peanut?!” in the general direction of the blue jay.

It yelled back something unintelligible.

I took that as a yes and threw a peanut.

Now, I’ve never been a good thrower. I’m much more of a slingshot gal, you know?

But the throw I threw this peanut was magical. It arced in the air like a football during the end of the game of a 1990s sports movie.

It was perfect.

I wished someone else was there to see it.

How did the blue jay react?

That bitch jumped off the branch, flew into the air and caught the damn peanut in its mouth, and flew the fuck away.

I shit you not.

I was so shocked I literally couldn’t move for a couple of seconds.

Then I screeched out, “Holy shit! It worked!”

I love the nature at the Professor Haus so much, y’all.