Meet My Yard: This Log

There’s nothing special about this log at first glance.

However, when I look at it, I see a failure.

Look closer at the log.

You’ll notice there are some random holes drilled into it at regular intervals.

We bought a special drill bit for that.

The holes look nice, don’t they?

Well, they were supposed to be growing something.

Let me explain.

The Shop

Sometime in the midst of all the heart failure and subsequent transplant of the last couple of years, Mickey and I found ourselves at a local… hmm, I don’t know what sort of descriptor to give this shop… at the base, I guess it’s a head shop.

But it’s so much more.

I bought a massively oversized sweatshirt from this store emblazoned with “WEED HEAD” in Waffle House font. It’s so cozy and gets Ben Prestage stuck in my head every single time I wear it.

You can also buy sex toys and tarot cards and incense and body jewelry and a random selection of eclection. Is this a word? If not, I’m claiming it because I like it.

One of the other things this store had was mushroom spores. We bought some, thinking we’d just be growing some eatin’ shrooms.

What we got, we’d later learn, were not eatin’ shrooms, but trippin’ shrooms. The spores sat in the fridge for a long time. One day, we decided to figure out what to do with them and landed on a combination of holes and sawdust and sawdust in the holes and spores on the sawdust and then capped off with beeswax.

Then they were to let it sit for, like, a year. Like the instructions we found said to do.

It’s been well over a year, and nothing has happened. The log is a bust. We have no shrooms for eating or tripping.

Not that I’m that into tripping in the first place.

The Trips

I’ve done it a few times. The first time we watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, cause, you know, it felt like a shroomy thing to watch.

And I was right until one character entered the picture.

Not the caterwauling of Charlie’s depressed laundress of a mom.

Not spooky Slugworth.

Not even the fever dream of Grandpa Joe.

It was this woman.

Mike Teevee’s mom.

Y’all, I got so angry at this woman. Every time she was on screen I could feel this hate surging through my body.

Idk what that was about, but the rest of my first mushroom experience was A+. Even the way that I got them was A+, but that’s a story for another time.

How the mint green and baby pink wallpaper in our 1960s bathroom danced was spectacular. I wish I had a visual memory to “see it” again.

Then, another time, I did not have a good experience. I was not in the right brain space to do mushrooms in the first place. I had about half an hour where it felt like all the bad things that happened to me/I did to other people came crashing in on my brain all at once.

Then my brain told me I’d be okay if I was in some water and put myself in the pool and, floating away there, my experience improved immensely.

I cannot recall another time, so either it was a neutral experience or I got scared off of them after the bad experience and never did them again.

And, even with the log and its magical hopefulness, I didn’t give mushrooms much of a thought for a hot minute.

The Call

Until one day, I was in a Zoom call with one of my clients. It was a team thing – we’re going all hands on deck for an upcoming pitch. The stress levels were high, particularly for our millennial CEO, who was feeling the pressure of what making a move this big might mean.

My Gen Z coworker said, “I don’t want to be too out of pocket, but did you microdose this morning? I feel like that has been really helpful in helping me with my ADHD symptoms.”

That opened up a whole conversation between the lot of us.

That conversation ended with one of us having a cap or two with her coffee and another (me) ordering a small pack of microsoding capsules from a source that I trust implicitly.

Goddamn, that all sounds like an infomercial, but I promise you it is 100% true.

The Friend

My friend Alex (the one who owns the mushroom company that I trust) is the funniest person I’ve ever seen in person.

Second place is Sam Tallent. And he had me cry laughing the first time I watched him do standup. In addition to his joke telling (and YouTube Travel Show) Sam Tallent wrote one of my favorite books of the past five years.

Before I finally get to the point of this blog, I want to tell you about two things about Alex that made me laugh.

The first time I saw him do standup was at the Bull and Bush, hosted by the incomparable Ross McCoy

He was larger than the other comics, almost intimidating. Another notable thing about him is that he performed his entire set facing the back of the stage.

His delivery and cleverly written jokes made me laugh with an excited wonder I’d never felt.

I may have even told this story before when I wrote up that blog about this guy named Kyle, who I was convinced didn’t exist.

Alex’s opener was a simple classic, too. I, of course, will not do it justice here, but I will give it ye olde college try.

”Hi, my name is Alex. [beat] That’s long for A.”

With a short A, not a long one.

Simple perfection, I’m telling ya.

Well, Alex has great taste because his company’s branding is on point. I’ve been quietly watching it grow over the years, and it gives me so much joy.

I mean, the name is Brain Spa! How perfect is that?!

I love seeing people succeed outside of traditional means. It gives me hope that I’ll be able to, too.

The Experience

After my microdosing experience, I have more hope than ever.

When these lil capsules arrived, I wasn’t sure exactly what I should expect from them.

I was a little bit nervous if I’m being honest. For those reading who do not know me, I am a 47-year-old autistic woman with OCD, Aphantasia, and a raging pop culture addiction. (I also have a monthly lollipop subscription if you’re a fan of flavors.)

Oh, for those who (like me) enjoy the details, here’s a little bit more information about these microdosing capsules from the source itself.

Our Microdose Capsules bring benefits without indulgence. Formulated to help with depression, motivation, presence and in some cases even pain.

This is a true micro dose well below the threshold for hallucination and based on the classic Stamets Stack with the addition of 4 more beneficial fungi!

Each Capsule contains a 100mg (.1 gram) of PE/APE Psilocybe Cubensis mushrooms plus beneficial functional mushroom extracts

Using functional mushroom extracts allows us provide concentrated benefit at even greater value. Potency and purity testing available in Testing Results tab.

What’s inside: 

• Psilocybe Cubensis: Research suggests potential benefits for mental well-being and emotional balance. These are the classic “magic” mushroom.
• Lion’s Mane: Supports cognitive function and memory, promotes nerve health, and contributes to mood balance.
• Reishi: Boosts immune system function, aids in stress management, and supports liver health.
• Chaga: Rich in antioxidants, supports immune health, and aids in reducing inflammation.
• Cordyceps: Enhances energy levels, supports respiratory health, and contributes to overall well-being.

Dosage: A single capsule is a great step toward clarity of mind, presence and focus. Those looking for improved mood and outlook can take this blend regularly as a ‘3 days on 2 days off’ schedule.

The website has an absolute masterclass of an FAQ. The whole website is great, and this company is fantastically transparent. There is an incredibly helpful dosage guide, testing results, and certificates of analysis. The care and thought that has gone into everything is plain and clear.

(If you need the password to get in, please message the BrainSpa Instagram… or me if you know me in real life. I don’t get any kickbacks or anything; I just really believe in this company [and my friend]).

So, of course I read the FAQ, before following the directions on the packet completely. I took one capsule with a FULL glass of water first thing in the morning. I also kept away from other stimulants like caffeine or anything else.

First off, there wasn’t, like, a woosh or anything. Nothing that made me feel “high” or out of it. There was not even a single moment where I felt physically different. No swirly visuals or colorful surprises – just clarity. (However, if you are looking for more than simply clarity, BrainSpa’s gotchoo there too – there are teas, gummies, raw fruits, and even honey!)

The differences were subtle. Things felt easier to deal with. My brain was so much nicer to me. I cannot emphasize the difference in my self-talk since starting this. It has been such a game-changer.

Midway through day three of my 3-days-on-2-days-off-as-prescribed-exactly-on-the-package, I texted Alex:

That statement still holds.

The Feelings

I feel like such a fucking cheeseball raving about this, y’all. But literally every single aspect of my life has improved:

• My focus
• My anxiety
• My emotions
• My relationship with myself
• My motivation
• My communication
• My creativity
• My drive to write
• My drive to cook
• My fear of driving
• Doin’ it (sry kids)
• My drive to clean
• My sleep
• My attitude, in general

And you guys, I started eating breakfast. I just woke up one day and said, “Hey, I think starting my day with oatmeal with some berries and yogurt and maybe a little bit of nut butter would be delicious.”

And I started doing it without having to buy special bowls or special equipment or making a big pronouncement or anything. I just did it… and kept doing it. It’s been like two weeks now. Dang.

I’ve felt more comfortable setting boundaries with myself and the people around me. What’s better is, I feel less guilty for doing so. It’s given me a distance and detachment that I really needed.

It’s like I see things wholly as they are in a more focused way.

It’s allowed my brain to slow down in a way it really and truly needed.

I will say that it heightens whatever things that are going on – whether they are good or bad. But instead of my brain getting tangled up in a whole spaghetti mess when presented with something “bad”, I’m able to take myself out of the situation long enough to look at it cooly, without the need to react and “fix” things.

It’s allowed me to relax.

The Conclusion

Oh, god this all sounds so cheesy. The microdosing hasn’t helped with my secondhand embarrassment for myself, I guess.

But also, please note: I am not a medical professional. Please talk to your doctor before adding anything new to your regimen.

I’ve been doing a lot of work on my role in enabling those around me, so I don’t want that to be the vibe here, either. I am sharing my experience and nothing more.

And my experience is 100% positive. In an incredible way.

There is a 99% chance that had I not been microdosing, I’d’ve let my driving anxiety talk me out of driving three measly miles to go to a tap dancing class.

Y’all, I have been looking for a true adult tap class for over ten years. A month ago, I would have had a much harder time saying “yes” to this class that fell into my lap so quickly.

The easiest way to simmer down what microdosing has done for me is to say that it has shifted my perspective in a way I very much needed.

Full disclosure: I feel weird as hell writing about this as a middle-aged Midwest lady. Why? I can’t really put my finger on it, but I know it has roots in shame and judgment.

It’s a shame what folks’ll judge you for, ain’t it?

oh, p.s. i’ll let you know if the log ever does anything, ok?