Every morning, one of the first things I do is what I call a “walk around”. It’s just as it sounds: I carry my ass outta the house and walk around the property. Compared to the sliver of a lot we had in Florida, it’s a sizable walkaround. However, in reality, it’s only three-quarters of an acre that somehow takes me four full days to mow all the way.
That’s not even counting the little strip between the sidewalk and the road that I ask Mickey to do because it is much too scary for me.
Well, I was doing a walkabout yesterday, picking up random trash, taking pics of the elephant ear leaves that slowly unfurl every day, peeping at the river, and just enjoying my damn land, you know… and in that sliver between the road and the sidewalk, this guy pops up:
He cute, right? But he also trash, right? Did I throw him away like I do all the other chip bags and garbage I find in my yard every day? Nope, I saved this piece of cardboard so I could show Mickey.
I didn’t plan to write about it, but something about its face and how eager it is reminded me of all the Tiny Things I have scattered around The Professor Haus. And since the house is technically *in* my yard, I’m using this opportunity to share some of my favorite scenes with y’all.
Scene #1: the Meff dealers
These good buddies asked me to take their photo from the back only for safety purposes.
See? This is Kevin and Marhsall, AKA Marshall Mallows and Slim Bac-ey (like the beginning of bacon + the end of Jacki), and they are the neighborhood Meff dealers. They look over the front stoop day in and day out, trying to attract customers.
Sometimes I ask them how business is going and they say “Well!” but then when I ask them about money, they say “what’s that?”
I’ve done some additional research because, honestly, these two seem like such friendly, happy, and loveable guys that I can’t believe they deal Meff.
To the birbs at that! I didn’t tell you that part yet, did I? Yulp, these two window hangers are dealing Meff to the birbs!!! And the squirrels sometimes!!!!
Upon further investigation, I found out that to Marshall & Kevin, Meff is nothing more than the suet cakes we put out for the birds and the nuts we leave for the squirrels.
So, maybe they’re not as much Meff dealers as they are birb watchers? I honestly do not know, but they are very serious about it.
The Ghosties
I am not exaggerating when I say that this is one of my favorite square feet in the entire Professor Haus. I love this lil mish mash of things I’ve made, bought, had made for me, stumbled upon, or just randomly showed up at my door one day because I fell in love with it on Instagram, and the artist’s girlfriend told him to send it to me because it was meant to be mine.
So, from left to right:
- This is a ghostie I made when I was testing things out for a larger-scale ghostie project. It has a smol coffee stain.
- A crocheted strawberry by my friend Sunny. I also have one of her bats behind me at all times. And a lot more bats from my other friend AJ. I like bats, okay?
- This is a small print of the Mayor. I bought it at a Nightmare Before Christmas event at Oblivion Taproom, which no longer exists. I miss that place a lot. Their events were so fun.
- A hand-embroidered “Well, Jackie” print that I got from my lovely friend Meg randomly one day.
- A tiny ghostie to cover up the “e” that I forget where I got.
- ditto on the tiny Belle
- ditto on the tiny Werewolf Snoopy
- A thermometer so that I always know the temperature. I have realized lately that a lot of my OCD is weather-related. Particularly heavy rains, which makes sense because my roof did collapse one (two and three) hurricane(s).
- The aforementioned ghostie painting which is definitely in the top five pieces of art I own. In case you can’t read what the ghosties are saying to each other, I will put it below:
- I’m scared
- that’s my name too
- A ghostie crocheted by my Michigan friend Genia, who we met within our first couple of months here. We also each have a Genia-made hat that we wear in the wintertime.
- A small jar of bear fat, still the best moisturizer I’ve ever used. Obviously, it is lasting forever, too.
- A turkey that I made in ceramics class, at the same time I made all the tiny things to go into my lollipop subscription packages last month. Spoiler alert: I am also working on something special for this month.
- A photo of D from when she was smol in a magnetic Tigger frame.
- A ghostie sitting in a rocking chair that we got when we went apple picking last year (Braeburn apples, ft-mf’in-w)
- In front of him (the bright green glitter) is a painting of Louise from one of my old co-workers. I also have a creepy-cute melted popsicle hanging on my wall that she painted.
I have one more set of ghosties to mention. I started making them for Halloween two years ago, but then I got COVID, and then got all stunted with, like, everything. Then, I finished them last year, and we put them outside.
When Halloween was over, I brought them inside.
We put hats on them, and now they live in my office. Their names are Riley and Jonsey. I think they are the spirit of those hockey players on Letterkenny.
The Protection
I mean, these folks all look familiar to you, right? Well, here’s what I think is happening in this scene:
The two Daryls and the Pulp Fiction crew are protecting the zombie girl from The Walking Dead for some reason.
Linda Belcher is talking Luke’s (i think?!) ear off about how she thinks she probably has the force too. (“I have to FORCE my kids to do anything… right, Bob?”)
Then Britney bitches to the (tiny) Joker about what it feels like to be misunderstood, while Annie Potts from Ghostbusters just sips her coffee and rolls her eyes.
And skeletal Nutcracker Snoopy? I’m not really sure. What do you think?
