My Year of Binchy – Week 11: The Undertow’s Dangerous

Thursday, March 14
  • Book: Echoes
  • Pages: 137 – 191
  • Location: Front porch. It was rainy earlier but now it’s not, 55 degrees.
  • Smoking: Sour Sleep
  • Playlist: The Leftovers 1+2+3
  • Did I cry?
    • Yes, when a combo of things happened – I received a message from my favorite (and nearly only!) client reminding me once again what it is like to work with a human who cares about people more than money and the moment I started sitting in that feeling is when the song (that I call) Heilig Heilig Heilig came on. That piece of music always moves me.
    • And then “Homeward Bound” came on and I started singing and you know what that means…

First thing – I would take a hell of a lot less baths if I had to boil the water in a saucepan beforehand. I’d be a shower girl and be fine with it. Just a lot less relaxed. And I probably would have never discovered the wonder and magic of Magnesium flakes. I need to write a blog about those sometime soon. They have been a game changer for my body and my brain.

I wish I could picture things, so I could picture this beach the way David described it in his head. This is the beginning part: “the tide was out so the beach spread out like a huge silver carpet”. He continues, of course, but I can’t share the whole book here, you know? I do wonder if the beaches are rock beaches or shell beaches in Ireland, though.

They are going HARD on this undertow foreshadowing. The ocean is DANGEROUS. The path is SLIPPERY.

I hope it is not David who died in the beginning. I’m rooting for him. Or Gerry.

Oh man it would be lovely to live in a town with a Dr. Powers, who actually cares about his patients. Could you imagine a house call? The thought makes me all warm inside.

Friday, March 15
  • Book: Echoes
  • Pages: 192 – 216
  • Location: Front stoop, 50 degrees
  • Smoking: Same stuff from yesterday
  • Playlist: Succession Party
  • Did I cry? No

Today is gonna be short, cause Molls and I are popcasting about Survivor tonight.

This book is really reminding me that I never learned to be soft with people. Or myself, for that matter. And so I have to teach myself how to do it, with the help of some friends that are already comfortable being soft.

It’s a hard thing to learn without any examples to look back on your life. I was always taught to hide any big emotions, happy or sad. I never saw my mom cry, not even when my dad passed away unexpectedly. I never saw my nana cry, not even after she left my papa randomly one day, only to go back a few days later.

They also never ever talked about how they felt about any of those things, so I have a really hard time bringing my feelings out into the world. I’m trying though. It’s hard to be something for yourself without a real life example.

I do find myself crying way more easily at TV and movies and music, though. And books, if this post is any evidence at all. And! I find myself calling it crying and not “allergies” like its something I should be embarassed about.

That’s progress, I guess?

Saturday, March 16
  • Book: Echoes
  • Pages: 193 – 252
  • Location: Backyard! It was raining earlier and now it’s not, so I’m switching things up. 51 degrees, with 17mph winds
  • Smoking: White Runtz
  • Playlist: For All Mankind Official Playlist
  • Did I cry? Yes, the instant the first notes of this song started playing. Midway through I had tears streaming down my face, reminded of what a heroic loss Tracy and Gordo were. The For All Mankind score is so moving.

Okay, so I set up out back, because it looked like we might get a spectacular sunset tonight. Nope. Instead I got thunder and lightning 15 minutes in.

OMG Angela O’Hara is possibly the most judgmental character I’ve met yet in a Maeve Binchy book. And the thing is, she’s presented as a GOOD character. So maybe she’s not mean to come off as judgmental. Maybe this is just a reflection of the racism and beauty standards of that time.

She thinks absolutely horrible things about her new Japanese sister-in-law. I feel so bad for her.

I’m starting Part Two tomorrow!!! 1957 – 1960

Sunday, March 17

Today’s playlist is both manifestation and celebration. Celebration because it is St. Patrick’s Day. Manifestation because I would like to live in a cottage in a flower field in Ireland. I am feeling somewhat uneasy, because this playlist is not filled with familiar music like all my other ones are. But it’s nice to switch things up.

Let’s see what 1957 has in store for us!

I feel like I am letting y’all down if I come inside to read because I get too cold. I don’t know why my brain tells me to think this, but it does, every single time. No one has ever told me this. No one has ever even mentioned me coming inside when it gets cold ever. No one has even ever mentioned where I sit.

My brain stays doing gymnastics to keep me judging myself, y’all.

p.s. I love how grown up Clare is now. Bye, going back to reading now.

This section is getting me really jazzed to paint the downstairs living area. In the winter, we started doing some pink/blue/purple thing on a couple walls and I sat with it a while and decided I didn’t like the cooler colors against the wood. I did love the techniques and colors and will reuse both in my bathroom upstairs which is gonna be underwater outerspace themed.

Downstairs will be painted gold. Of course, we’re gonna kilz over the current wallpaper (which we are definitely keeping because I love the texture of it.) And then we will paint the walls a lovely gold/copper color. I feel like it will look like the room is glowing from within. It gives me a really happy feeling. And it will bring out the lighter tones in the wood in a nice way.

Then, I’m thinking about painting the radiator and wall sconces a flat black, to highlight the dark parts of the wood. I think It’s gonna look great. Mickey, of course, can picture it and confirms that it will.

Goddamn James Nolan telling the truth, “I think I like the idea of women more than I like them as people.”

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