*Puts Fashion Hat On* I Want to Talk About the Royal Rumble Outfits!

Hello. I watched the Rumble Rumble (it is more fun to say that than ‘Royal Rumble’. Go on, try it!) on Saturday and I was very taken with the fashion. So much so, that I said aloud, “Tom and Lorenzo should do a fashion recap of THIS!” Now, I know you don’t know who Tom and Lorenzo are, but, to me, they are the end all be all of red carpet coverage and have been ever since the early days when they were nothing more than a ‘Project Runway’ recap blog called Project Rungay.

But then I knew deep down they would not recap some wrasslin’ clothes, so I decided I would do it in their stead.

Okay, so I’m just gonna share some of these pics from the WWE galleries and also share what they made me feel. Now, I don’t know a lot about wrasslin’, especially anymore, but I do have an eye for fashion, so who knows how this will go.

The Ladies

Naomi at the 2024 WWE Royal Rumble

I am super into both blue light and that safety green-yellow color that Naomi is sporting here. A total vibe and it looked incredible in action.

Right?! RIGHT?! Also, please look at this pink warrior princess gear that Candace Lerae (I think – I was wrong, my adopted brother Ryan informed me that this is actually Natalya!) is wearing. I love most wrasslin’ shoes, and these two layer beauties are no exception.

This felt very Hulk Hogan to me and I kind of loved that aspect of it. I loved her strappy strappy shoes, but, worry that all those buckles would hurt her competitors.

I love two things here: Bianca Belair’s braid and that EST garter detail.

Okay, look! Another set of good boots! AND look at the details on this viking skirt. It is SO SWISHY.

I can’t even pay attention to what she’s wearing (in a good way) because she showed up with that hair inside of a cute sized tank with a skull in it.

I mean, I honestly have no notes. This is both classic and futuristic Becky Lynch and I love it. I adore her insistence on the open weave fishnets too.

I live for the open space on her bottoms. It’s so subtle but gives a real neat armor look when it is actually open vulnerable space. I’d like to have a closer look at this one, like a fancy red carpet photo shoot. I think I like the designer’s brain.

This was less for the fashion and more for the sheer skill, but look at all the colors in this scene!

And this is our 2024 Women’s Royal Rumble winner Bailey, who I have been a fan since I started watching wrasslin’ as an adult. I love that she is mostly covered and not all ‘heavy duty lingerie’ looking like so many of the others.

The Boys

“Look at my balls.”

“Look at my balls, and this vest!”

“Look at my balls in these long pants and long vest.”

“Look at my balls. My belt is pointing to them.”

I appreciated his commitment to matching. (and hated how much I enjoyed his match.)

Two things:

  1. If that is duct tape on his shirt, I respect and like it. If it is screen print, it makes me frown.
  2. I think it was at this point in the match that I said to Ryan, “Logan is doing so much hand stuff to Kevin Owen, he’s like a high school boy” and I think that was a funny joke.

This looks like a Cheez It box and I won’t explain further.

This is pretty iconic, tbh. Next Halloween, I’m gonna try to make a crown out of gold spray painted skeleton hands. (plastic, not human)

Absolutely freakin’ loved this Lakers moment. A+, dood. No notes.

This one looks like the 80s came to life. Possibly a skating rink carpet.

Love the bondage detailing on this black and white top. We see a lot of BDSM detailing in the women’s costumes, so it is nice to see it here, too.

This does not look every punk, CM, uh, Punk. I mean, you’re wearing patriotic colors!

This is our winner: a back-to-back, patriotic as hell legacy of a champion. Based on outfits alone, I think he would have been an early pick for a winner! He has stars AND stripes and I think and eagle pointing to his junk. How much more masculine can you get?

Here is a note for the end of things: I am autistic and these are just observations. They are not coming from a mean spirited place and I apologize if it comes off that way. I have realized, after a lot of therapy and self reflection, that oftentimes in the past when I state things matter of factly, other folks take that as ‘shit talking’ or ‘bitching’ and that is why they liked me. It’s been a hard lesson to learn, but that is too deep and all for a fashion blog about the Rumble Rumble.

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