After his home is conquered by the tyrannical emperors who now lead Rome, Lucius is forced to enter the Colosseum and must look to his past to find strength to return the glory of Rome to its people.
Okay, so, of course, I obsessively read Oscar and Awards Shows subreddits, read articles, and watch TikToks and all of that. It’s been my special interest since middle school, and I only became unashamed of it in my adult life.
One of the topics that comes up frequently is “What is the worst Oscar winner of all time?” For a long while, my answer to this question was easy, “Gladiator.” It was a fine movie. In fact, I saw it in theaters, and it was one of the very first DVDs I owned (rounding out the first three were Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and Rocky Horror Picture Show.)
Weirdly enough, I rarely watched the DVD; it had been decades since I’d watched it.
When I heard that they had made a Gladiator II and, what’s more, it was getting all sorts of awards season attention, I was immediately mad. Like frustrated! Why did this mediocre movie need a sequel? Come up with original ideas for the awards season, people!
Then, we randomly rewatched the original the other night, and it’s a fucking great movie. The pacing is incredible. It’s gorgeous to look at. It’s just a big win all around. Russell Crowe was fantastic, and Joaquin was a DREAM. I loved it so much more than I was expecting.
Then, in the heat of awards season, I kind of forgot about the sequel.
When I saw it was streaming on Paramount +, we watched it that night.
At first, I was full of promise – the paintings were gorgeous, and the music was moving.
Then the movie started, and it didn’t seem to know what it wanted to be.
Or who the characters were.
Then I met the twins, and they tickled something deep inside me.
At first, I wondered if they reminded me of the McPoyles from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. They did, kind of. But it wasn’t just that.
The costumes were stunning. Somewhere near the mid-beginning, I hit pause and asked Mickey, “When did men start wearing pants, and why?”
The CGI in the film was super-distracting, none more so, when they somehow flooded the coliseum, and there were murderous sharks swimming around.
That’s when it hit me.
This movie is camp.
Over-the-top drama, over-the-top costumes, over-the-top scenarios, scene-chewing performances.
Gladiator II is camp.
Once I decided this, I started enjoying it a whole lot more.
Look, it’s not great. It’s not a sequel to its predecessor in terms of quality.
But it’s fun as hell. The twins, in particular. Love seeing Fred Hechinger from season 1 of The White Lotus getting some work.
And Denzel looks like he is having a fucking blast.
