Welp, this was a month for the books. I got my first 100% sleep score, and then the month went to shit. I’m still discovering more and more about this massive work of art every night as I wake up at different times in the night and hear different nuances to things I already love (like the OOO OOO OOOs). I’ve also been working on my maladaptive daydreaming (to great success, which you will read further on down in this blog post) and struggling with something I’ve never struggled with before.
Let’s do a little housekeeping, and then we’ll get into it.
The Playlist:
Previous Months:
The New Discoveries
There has been some recent upheaval at the Professor Haus, so my sleep hasn’t been as regular as I’m used to. I’ve been staying up a bit later, and my sleep/wake rhythms haven’t been as structured as they normally are. This led to some pretty low sleep scores (not the lowest, though!) and the lowest average of any month yet, despite receiving a perfect score one night.
This has also led to waking up in the middle of the night at unusual-for-Jacki times, and I get to hear new parts of the playlist. The parts that tickle me the most are when I hear the OOO OOO OOOs (which are normally an angelic voice) played on other instruments, like the tinkling of a piano or some lilting strings.
Never do I wake up without a smile on my face these days. I am truly loving sleeping with this playlist. This has also made falling back to sleep easier, because now that I have three months behind me, I can find something to focus on in each movement of the music.
The New Problem
My sleeper-inner is broken. Now, I don’t know if you know this about me, but your girl really loves sleeping in. Let me stay up late, late, late, and sleep till noon. Then take me for a late breakfast if you know what’s good for you (and me, I love eating breakfast anytime of the day, especially biscuits and gravy and hashbrowns).
However, I am unable to sleep in anymore. I think the reason for this is two-fold (and maybe a sign of maturity).
Thing 1: I am getting enough sleep. Y’all, I used to be a 5-hour-a-night sleeper. Now? 7 hours minimum. This has made a HUGE difference in my mental health. I used to be proud of the fact that I could function on so little sleep, and now I wonder who I was trying to impress. Not myself, obviously, and that should be all the matters.
Thing 2: When the music ends, my body knows it’s time to get up. So if I have a night where I go to bed at normal times, but have a tossy and turny night and didn’t get as much sleep as I would like, and the music ends at 8.5 hours, my brain and body are like, “Nope, times up! Time to wake up, girlie.”
And so I do. But now I am aware of that, so it’s something I can (and will) work on!
On an episode of The Pitt, someone mentioned “sleepmaxxing”. I do not think that is what I am doing, but I do take sleep very seriously.
Telling People In Person
The other day in ceramics class (we’re back after 3+ months, baybee), one of the other students asked me, “Jacki, are you like me where you can’t sleep past 5 hours a night?” and my entire being lit up.
“Well, I used to, but I have been on a journey lately,” I began, then I told them (with a little bit of embarrassment for some reason) about this project. It made me really happy to talk about it with my mouth and have folks receptive to it.
By the end of the conversation, I’d sent the playlist to at least two other members of the class and look forward to hearing about their experience with it… If they choose to give it a shot.
Then, a few days later, I got a text message from another ceramics classmate telling me she heard the term “Orthosomnia” and thought of me. So, of course, I had to go research it.
Orthosomnia is the obsessive pursuit of optimal sleep metrics based on fitness tracker or mobile phone app data.
I don’t think I’m obsessing so much as I am enjoying, but this is something I will keep an eye on. I think if I ever start changing my diet to help my sleep, then we’re in the danger zone. I love eating y’all and don’t want to stop how I’m eating now, because my body seems to like it… and my taste buds for sure do.
Maladaptive Daydreaming + Regular Dreaming
Okay, so I have been using Discord to keep track of my Sleep Scores. I don’t know why, but it is easier for me to keep up with than a spreadsheet. Even though a spreadsheet would be easier to math out at the end of the month. As it is now, I write down all the numbers from Discord and then use the calculator app on my phone to, uh, calculate them. My brain likes analog things, okay.
Y’all can join the Discord and follow along on my journey. It gave me great delight when Brother Ryan cheered my 100% score. It makes me happy to know that anyone else cares, even just a little bit.
All of that babbling is to say this:
I am also trying to write down snippets of dreams that I remember, and I will share some here, with no further explanation. If you would like more info on a dream, let me know, and I’ll regale you with the tales that I can remember.
- a dream about going to a comic con with Bill Burr, where he had a stash of comic books to pass out to attendees who looked overwhelmed.
- a dream about a streaming service that I couldn’t remember the name of. But I kept telling people who were trying to help me, “It’s NOT Salami!!”
- a dream that I couldn’t remember Inga Ibsdotter Lilleas’ name, and kept trying to explain her to someone. “The ‘I’ gal” is all I could say.
And that work I’ve been doing on Maladaptive Daydreaming before falling asleep? Your girl’s been killing the game in that regard. Whereas this used to be a nightly event, in March, I only did it once as “a treat”.
How have I put an end to this lifetime of before-sleep daydreams? By repeating a phrase over and over in my head, if anything else dares slip in there. The phrase feels kind of embarrassing to admit out loud, and I do not know why. Of course, I will share it anyway, because shame ain’t nothing real or anything that should run my life. Here is the phrase:
“Show me what to do.”
Sometimes, it’s a flying dream (which are among my favorites). Others are ‘packing up a hotel room‘ dreams, which are my least favorite. And very occasionally, I get to bring someone new I love to this cabin that lives at the end of a magical forest trail that only exists in my dreams. I only bring the people who are most important to me to this dream cabin, so if you’re there, you’re a friend for life. Consider it like Liz’s “giving you a rock” on Shrinking. I might even actually give you a rock if I haven’t already.
Sleep Scores
- Highest sleep score: 100 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
- Lowest sleep score: 47 (night after the Oscars, and I was mad at all the OBAA wins)
- Average sleep score: 85.77
Previous Month’s Scores
- January
- Highest: 97
- Lowest: 52
- Average: 91
- February
- Highest: 99
- Lowest: 42
- Average: 88
