The Things I, Jacki, Will Be Looking for During Our Home Inspection

Saturday, I’ll be inside our new house. 

Right up in its guts. Checking it out, making sure it’s up to our standards. 

Of course there will be a professional present, doing all the official stuff. 

You know, making sure The Professor House doesn’t break. Or fall over.

But it’s been there since 1909, so it seems pretty sturdy. 

I really thought in my guts that I might like to call this house Greendale, but, I dunno y’all, the Professor House might be stuck forever. 

I only used it as a way to designated from “The Ivy House” and “The Bear House”.

(Side note, there were no bears anywhere in the house I called “the Bear House”, it had solar panels on the roof and was a tiny little gem. There was a stump upended outside with the house number saw-arted into it and I think that makes me think of bears. Who knows with my brain, though.)

So, I’ma be up in our new house on Saturday, for our inspection.

Now that I think about this – talking about all the intricacies of moving house seems pretty boring, but it’s what’s on my brain so… 

And also, I never really see normal bloggers talking about this. It seems to be dominated by SEO-driven, keyword-heavy advertorial on a Realtor or Mortgage Lender’s website. Just a bunch of dry words to get people to use their service. 

(this photo will make sense later. just keep reading.)

So here are the things I’m looking for in my inspection of the Professor House on Saturday:

  • What does it smell like inside?!?!
  • How many sets of stairs are there really? I think there are four but I am not even 100% sure. 
  • Where are the ghosts located?
  • What is the light like in all the rooms?
  • Why am I so fascinated by the room of doors? 
    • I can’t wait to see what it feels like in there. 
  • Is the home stuffie friendly?
    • More importantly, will Tracy Morban, An Aware Wolf, have a safe space where no birbs can get him?
  • Which room will I make my version of the red room from Twin Peaks?
  • Is the piano in tune?
    • If it is not, I have all this false confidence that I can tune it myself somehow. No idea where that is coming from. I ain’t never tuned a piano in my life, but my brain tells me I 100% can do it. 
  • Would the kitchen look good if it looked like a summer camp?
  • How do radiators even work? 
  • Which room should be our bedroom?
    • How potentially tall can I make the bed in this room?
  • How many outlets there are?
  • How awesome is that bathtub, really?
  • What’s the sound like in the basement?
    • And in the attic?
  • Are there creatures in the river in the back yard?
  • How many Christmas tree-shaped trees are there in our yard?
  • Where will I put the porch swing?
  • Is there a wizard living in the space underneath porch?
    • Is it a good wizard or a bad wizard?

But most importantly, I wanna know what the vibes are like in the house. I know they’re gonna be good. 

I mean, just look at it. 

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