This Time of Year I Suffer From What I Call “Morning Tummy”

And I hate it.

It’s just low key annoying enough to be, well, annoying. 

Look my words aren’t working great today, I’m suffering from an extended bout of “morning tummy”.

No, it’s not morning sickness. I am definitely not pregnant, unless some miracle happened that I don’t know about. Also, that joke is boring now, so you can feel free to strike it from your mental record. 

This is just the most bleh of bleh feelings. I’m fine when I’m laying down in bed, but the second I am upright, I have the worst nausea known to humankind. 

What makes it so bad is that there is no relief. I am BUSY in the mornings. That’s when I do my putterin’, y’all, and this really puts a damper on it. 

Most days the nausea only lasts about 15 minutes. I’ll have some tea or coffee or my gross nutrition cube and it calms down a bit.

 

(this is the penguin that protects my coffee. He doesn’t have a name yet, I just call him kitchen penguin. I didn’t know what else to use for a photo for this blog that wasn’t a stock photo of someone holding their tummy.)

There is one week out of the year where I don’t stop feeling this gross until noon. 

This week is that week. 

I know it’s cause of the pollen that’s coating all the things right now. It’s making my sinii drain down into my tummy and making me feel all gross. 

And with that gross feeling comes my least favorite thing of all: sweating. 

Do you have any idea how much I hate sweating? It’s a lot. I just don’t like being wet, I think (unless I am in a pool or lazy river, obviously).

Today, I had to sit down at least 9 times ( I counted) when cleaning up the kitchen. Some of those times I sat down on the cool floor of the bathroom, because I thought I was gonna get some relief in the form of vomiting. 

I did not. 

Honestly, there are days where I will try to make myself throw up to get this to end. It never fucking works though and it’s really annoying. 

I’ve tried all the normal things: ginger ale, saltines, straight up ginger, like all the things I could google on the Internet. 

Nothing does what it’s supposed to, so I’ve just resigned myself to one week of morning nausea when Spring is coming. Or cumming, as it were. Ugh what a bad joke. I’m sorry. 

So if you have an off the wall suggestion to make this terrible week of sweating and wanting to hurl in the mornings  better, I will take it. But it’s gotta be off the wall. 

That’s a requirement, y’all. 

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